Hard Raindeer Games
Ben Affleck goes toe to toe with Christian Slater in a series of puzzles and mazes made for smart animals. No one wins.
Film within Films
A radioactive blast from a failed Nazi time experiment has genetically melded the greatest films of our time...and rewrote and reshot them
Belly and the Beast
DMX is one bad ass drug dealing motherfucker and will stay that way if all the nugz fall off an enchanted sour diesel plant.
1Jurassicko Park
Micheal Chriton compares the for-profit healthcare system of Isla Sorna to the socialized system of Isla Numbar by citing how much happier the dinosaurs are.
Saving Private Billy Elliot
Everyone let out a huge sigh when they get the order to go back into Nazi occupied France to find that really annoying flamboyant soldier no one liked.
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 3
This exploration into 3-D technology sends porn star angels hurling down from heaven and into your living room to help you finally lose your virginity at camp this summer!
Waterworld According to Garp
No one remembers what land looks like, so they spend their days uncomfortably talking about sex, with their moms, instead.
Stand and Deliverance
A mind is a terrible thing to waste, even if has been severely handicapped by a stagnant gene pool and bathtub alcohol. In this inspirational thriller, Burt Reynolds teaches a math class of hillbillies how to not rape him when he turns around to write on the chalkboard.
The Importance of Being Ernest Goes to Jail
In a fortuitous combination of plots, two 19th century English gentlemen (both played by Jim Varney) get mixed up when one of them commits a crime and has a hilarious face, but frames his look-a-like because he has the same hilarious face.
The Bridges of Billy Madison County
An over grown rich kid tries to prove to his Da-Da that he is worthy of inheriting the family construction business, and in doing so, he gets a “do over” on all the shoddy bridges he engineered while he was in high school.
Famous Quote: “Oh, Meryl Streep, SOOOOO HOT! Want to touch the hiney?”
40 Days and 40 Black Knights
When a freak accident sends Martin Lawrence back in time, he discovers just how hard it is for black guys to get laid in Dark Ages Europe.
Free Willy or Die Trying
A killer whale finances a movie about how he got jumped by a bunch of sea lions in order to legitimize his street cred.
Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged a Few Good Men
Mike Meyer’s delves into the whole “international man of mystery” thing when he is beaten to death by sailors who aren’t impressed by how horny he is.
Famous Quote: “You want the Swedish-made penis enlarger? You can’t handle the Swedish-made penis enlarger!”
No Country for Grumpy Old Men
The original odd couple face off in a suspenseful game of cat and mouse when Jack Lemon finds Walter Matthau’s wallet and won’t give it back.
Famous Quote: “Don’t make me get up out of this comfortable chair and come kill you!”
There Will Be A Mad Black Woman
Upton Sinclair’s short story turned TBS made-for-TV-movie turned out to be made-for-no-one.
